Stay

I looked back and caught that tear,

lingering in her eye, latching onto her fear,

Her heart was tangled and not far from being torn,

The moment had arrived, selfishly hers to call her own,

The winds of change were raging a storm,

­And she couldn’t get the music to dance with her song.

 

I held her hand, but didn’t know what to say,

I didn’t want to go, and she wanted me to stay,

She turned my hand, over to my palm,

And her fingers traced the lines across it,

Locking it into her memory, as if this was the end of it.

 

She then cradled my hand in hers for a little while,

But soon withdrew her hand to dab her eye,

Looked over her shoulder, to make sure no one was watching,

but caught a few glances of all the people passing,

So she took me aside so it would be just us,

To have a moment that would be just ours.

 

Afraid of abandoning everything she held onto,

Her choices were difficult, and the options too few,

She was losing the rites of passage into this kingdom,

And unwittingly, I was imprisoning her with my freedom.

 

Carefully rehearsed, all that she had to say,

Choked, the lines couldn’t fight their way,

Her stubborn love wouldn’t say goodbye,

The words never came and I heard her cry,

And soon I wouldn’t be around to make her stop,

When her lips on my cheek felt like the kisses of a raindrop.

 

She was drunk with love and starving for comfort,

And only she could tell how much it hurt,

I couldn’t find the words to make it better,

Someday I would and maybe write her a letter,

When you move away, the world doesn’t feel so small,

And the time spent apart slows to a crawl,

It’s easy to love and hard to be let down,

But the time had come to leave this town,

The journey had just begun, and the road was long,

And now she couldn’t find the lyrics to go with her song.

 

Prequel to Cause I will write a song for you

Image 1 credit: http://www.coasttocoastcentral.com

Image 2 credit: http://www.cherrylola.com

Cause I will write a song for you

 

When you’re feeling like a misfit,

And people are looking down on you,

You need to show some grit, even if for just a little bit,

Cause I will write a song for you.

 

When all your friends are gone,

And there are no aces in the cards you’ve drawn,

Just deal yourself another hand,

Cause I will write a song for you.

 

I know you’re not getting any younger,

You’re wondering how the years went by,

How time, is slowly catching up,

How the carefree life is such a far cry,

And its frightening, how all the warnings suddenly ring true,

But hold on babe,

Cause I will write a song for you.

 

When you’re happiness is fleeting,

And you’ve lost sight of the dreams you’ve been chasing,

So now you don’t know what to do,

And you don’t have the slightest clue,

But don’t just yet bid adieu,

Cause babe, I will write a song for you.

 

When your whole world is out of place,

And you just want to leave without a trace,

But please show yourself some grace,

Cause I will write a song for you.

 

When your darkest days are about to appear,

When you’re about to lose someone you loved so dear,

And you’ve cried so hard, you can’t shed another tear,

hold on babe,

Cause I will write a song for you.

 

When no one seems to love you,

And they see only you’re furrowed brow,

But not a hint of all that pain and sorrow,

Weary from facing another tomorrow.

You’re way too proud, but you secretly wish they knew,

But don’t worry babe, cause I will write a song for you.

 

When the world seems overbearing,

And your life seems like a lie,

Let it go with just a sigh, and run to me with arms open wide.

Cause babe, I’ve written this song just for you.

The Stoner Anthem

So darling, let me have just another puff,

It’s been so long that I haven’t had that stuff,

I know you’ve made your point,

But darling, it’s just a fking joint,

I don’t want to lie,

Sometimes I just need to get high,

You really seem to care about the damage it could do

but let’s be fair, it’s another place that it takes you to.

Can you quit it, maybe I should ask you

 

There’s no devil here, not the one you’re looking for

It’s just a liberator, unshackling chains and breaking the law

So keep your wisdom locked up in your conventional mind

Don’t let it out, cause that’s the only place it belongs

There’s enough of everything pulling us back, so just sing us a new song.

 

So don’t you mind, don’t be so radical

the smoke just makes it hazy for you to judge

We are not the lucky ones, just mere mortals

Living in circles, our lives ruined by drudge

Sometimes life can be endless, and that’s what we fear

That things will be the same, year after year

With no purpose, what do you live for

You thirst for a fight, hope for that war

And you’ve had better days,

and now you’re living with your lonely ways,

Worshiping the shrine of sadness, silenced by the noise,

you see the blank screen in front you, with words as your only toys.

 

So we’ve got bigger problems, so stay awhile, before you go,

It’ll all be better before you even know,

This only makes you human, even if it makes you weak

Let the Tambourine man play his song, its only solace we seek.

 

“Drugs and alcohol are not my problem. Reality is my problem. Drugs and alcohol are my solution.” – Russell Brand

Coming undone.

Image Credit: deviantart.net

It’s that time again, where we almost say good bye

that time where we don’t know what we are in for

So we stay lonely for a while, tears washing away our smiles

But then we say that this is not what we want and wipe our eyes dry.

 

We stay on, stay for some more time,

We can’t go now, you don’t say what you feel, but your eyes they can’t lie

The truth can wait, there’s no need for it,

Pushing our issues under the carpet, but building them up, bit by bit.

Then the scarlet pours from our hearts,

Drifting us away and tearing us apart.

 

So we get back together again, till our disagreements pull us down,

when you stay late at work, when I’m out of town,

Our roads are different, although they are intertwining

we’re under the stars but tonight they are not shining.

 

So we can’t stay apart, Cause there’s always something new to talk about,

Sometimes making you squirm, making me want to tear my hair out

You’re beautiful, in such a timeless way that will stay on forever,

But this is taking its toll, I can tell, as your voice, it quivers

 

 

 

 

 

 

There’s that space I’ve always wanted to fill,

But I understand, I can’t be everything to you,

My heart cant stop racing but your emotion lies still

So turn around and walk away, and that’ll be my cue

 

But then it’s so hard to let you go,

To never see you walk again through my bedroom door,

And I’ll be alone walking at bandstand,

and lonely at Christmas, dancing by myself to that crappy band

There won’t be anyone to buy roses for anymore

and you won’t be around to call when I’m feeling so low,

Country music doesn’t seem so bad, now when I look back

At least they got things on a happier track

So no more trips to see the divine,

No more calling my baby all mine

And I won’t see that smile of yours, burning brighter than the sun,

And although this is my good bye, let’s hope this can be undone.

A different kind of similarity

A week gone by,

And here I lie,

My mind flooded by her thoughts,

We don’t talk much, it’s like we’ve just fought

 

I’m unable to concentrate,

Tried so hard to get you out of my head,

I’ve been depressed of late,

Don’t fall for her everybody said.

 

I keep telling myself, it’s of no use, move on,

Making myself believe, your feelings for me have long gone.

It’s difficult, nothing seems to work,

At the end of the day I just feel like a jerk

 

I know she likes me, she really does,

Maybe I haven’t slept, I think I’m a little too buzzed.

Excerpts (written over a period of time)

 

Insidious

An open window,the only source of light

A twisted distorted shadow,a pitiful sight.

An axed tree,a decaying log

A sadistic mind,clouded by an evil fog

An open ground with a bottomless well

The fires are burning,the fires in hell

A strange sound,The wind has blown

The seeds of hate have just been sown

The window closes,the lights go out

His lips curl into a smile hearing her shout

January 2007

A long december

The past couple of weeks have been a rollacoaster ride,

Sometimes I scale tall peaks, the next moment I need a place to hide.

 

The shadows don’t runaway,

The sun doesn’t shine,

The darkness stretches on for infinity,

The nights are all mine.

 

I sit and stare, looking everywhere,

For no thing in particular,

It’s all black and white,

It’s life stripped off it’s colour.

I’ve stepped onto familiar ground,

But it still feels new,

I’m nervous, I’m lost

I’m never going to be found.

 

My mind wanders off, to a faraway place,

An undesired location, with no familiar face.

 

I’ve gone too far ahead, leaving no clue,

No one will come to look for me, not even a few.

December 2006