A couple of years and countless tries later heres another feeble attempt at trying to write something. But writings never easy right? Especially if im trying to write something to impress you. Probably that’s why I never got down to write anything in the first place. All the wrong reasons, never made anyone “write”. So why am I even hitting the keys right now? When I could very well listen to Staind, watch Jimmy and Doug beat the shit out of some ninjas on Fight Quest or even call Nadia (which is incidentally what I usually do, though she claims otherwise). Satwik claimed blogging does to him what punching does to Rocky, it helps him deal with all the jazz that life doles out.
But does it really? Hell yeah! I must have been 15 or 16…you know the time identity crisis creep up and end up making you feeling like a creep? Fitting in was never my forte and college wasn’t my castle. Eminem was my hero. I sought solace in all his music. Not the best way to go bout things you might say…but probably even Marines listen to his music in the hope of getting their adrenaline rushing and their confidence soaring, and trust me it worked and still does. “Lose yourself” and “Till I collapse” cured some of my issues…but writing words and making them rhyme cured the rest. I haven’t seen that diary I confided in, in years.
Issues can’t really be called issues if there aren’t girls in them. So who was she? She was some one I took balloons and flowers for on bandstand but then burst them because she was embarrassed to walk with them. So yes, I must have been a pretty miserable bloke back then. Winters never favoured me, neither did she and a back injury robbed me of the other love of my life – basketball. So when you’re listening and singing along to O.C. soundtracks, staring at MSN for hours hoping for the small messenger window that says _____ to pop up (cause you’d rather do that than read the eco text book), checking your phone every 5mins and popping painkillers every 12 hours..life isn’t quite what it should be.
So why am I telling you all this? Cause all I can recall is hitting the same keyboard in the same place with familiar emotions of uncertainty and pain all in the hope to just feel better. Nothing could quite numb the pain but then I’d rather have pain than nothing at all.